17 February each year.
Random Acts of Kindness Day, done properly
The usual suggestions involve strangers: pay for someone's coffee, leave a note on a windscreen, let a car in. They're pleasant, and they're easy partly because a stranger can't be embarrassed by them and you never see the result.
The harder and better version is aimed at someone you actually know. Most people go years without being told the specific, true thing that others think about them — not because nobody thinks it, but because saying it out loud feels exposing. The kindness that costs something is the kindness that names a person and a quality.
It doesn't have to come from you by name. Plenty of the most affecting things people receive arrive anonymously, precisely because the recipient can't feel obliged to reciprocate or perform gratitude.
A kind act aimed at a stranger costs a few euros. One aimed at someone you know costs nerve, which is why it's worth more.
Four that fit the occasion
Taken from the bank we actually send. Use the words yourself, or have one delivered anonymously.
The kind things you do unwitnessed still count
PersonalThe message you sent, the thing you noticed, the trouble you took for someone who could not repay it. None of it was performed for an audience. That is precisely what makes it character rather than manners.
You are somebody's safe place
PersonalThere is a person who thinks of you when something goes wrong, before they have thought about what to do. You may never be told that. It is one of the highest things a human being can be to another one.
You notice people
PersonalYou remember the appointment, the anniversary, the thing someone was nervous about. Being noticed is one of the deepest human needs and most of us go days without it. You hand it out constantly and think nothing of it.
You give more than you tell anyone about
PersonalMoney, time, attention, favours that were never mentioned again. You do it without keeping a ledger, which is the only kind of giving that counts. It has made things easier for more people than you realise.
Or let someone hear it without knowing it was you
A dollar sends one now. Five a month sends a different one every day, at a time you choose.
Other occasions
- What to actually say on Employee Appreciation Day — The first Friday in March.
- What to say to someone who is struggling — World Mental Health Day is 10 October.
- What to write to a teacher — The first full week of May.